xxbemyescapexx (xxbemyescapexx) wrote,
xxbemyescapexx
xxbemyescapexx

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SeLf CoNtRoL . . .

hey there!
mmmmmk so i made this journal cuz i'm going through some crazy things lately in dealing w/ myself and just trying to gain CoNtRoL of things. Also, i can't talk to any of my friends bout this or else they will like FReaK out and send me somewheres. My friend just got back from the hostipal cuz she was anorexic. She understands...but she doesn't kno that i'm going thru this now...and no one will kno how it feels...I'm still trying to figure out if i have and eating disorder...though many signs point to it plainly. I think i've had this ED since winter started pretty much (i hate winter)....around xmas break. I'm anorexic ...though it's a weird on and off thing. Lately i've been noticing that i'll take one day and eat like a fucking animal! i'll eat so much that i'll feel sick. And then the next day i'll feel soo guilty about the day before that i'll fast..so i jump up and down a lot. i want to stop this crAzy binge eating that is just ruining my body... i wish i could have the self control i had before... so here's my way to seek help to those that want to give it to me and ask for advice on eating habits that will bring me back to where i was b4...:) So im turning to this so that i can talk to people who actually know how it feels and what to do to stay so fUcKiNg THIN!
here are my stats-->
Age: 17
CW: 114
LW: 104
GW: 110
Long Term GW: 105
Height: 5'5
ED: anorexic/binge eating

-->fragile...handle with care
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